Self-harm, also referred to as self-injury or self-mutilation, is a dangerous symptom of untreated mental health disorders. While acts of self-harm carry the potential to cause significant or permanent damage, they are not suicidal. For most, self-harm is a maladaptive way of coping with severe stress or emotional anguish. For others, engaging in self-harm is an attempt to feel something because they otherwise feel emotionally disconnected or numb. Overall, people self-harm when they do not have the tools to release or express intense feelings in healthy ways.
Self-harm is primarily associated with adolescence. However, many people continue to self-harm into early adulthood. Older adults who self-harm typically do so after experiencing trauma or other significant events that challenge their coping ability. A self-harm treatment program in Florida at Harmony Hills can help stabilize acute symptoms and address the underlying issues that contribute to self-harm, helping you live a happier and healthier life. Contact us 855.494.0357 at to learn more about self-harm treatment options.
What to Say to Someone Who Self-Harms
Whether they reveal it to you or find out it on your own, discovering that someone you love is engaging in self-harm can be scary, upsetting, and hard to understand. While your instinct may be to react with shock, horror, or anger, it is best to remain nonjudgmental and not overreact. At the same time, it is vital to take self-harm seriously and not disregard the behavior.
The first step in talking to someone about their self-harming behaviors is to ensure that it is a good time for you. Make sure you have had time to process the information and educate yourself about self-harm and that your loved one is not stressed or upset. When you have found the best time and setting, some suggestions for what to say include:
- “I have noticed some marks (bruises, cuts, burns) on your arms (legs), and I am concerned because I care about you. Are you hurting yourself?”
- “I can see that you are in a lot of pain. Can you talk to me about what is going on?”
- “What gives you the urge to self-harm, and how long do you feel relief?”
- Can you talk about how you feel before and after you self-harm?
- “I want to help you, but I can’t do it alone. Have you thought about talking to someone?”
- “I understand if you can’t talk about it now. Just know that I am here to help support you.”
Try to validate their pain without validating the self-harming behavior. Listen until they are done talking, and do not interrupt to offer advice or try to relate their pain to your own experiences. Do not worry about having the right answers. Often, just listening and offering support can help.
How to Help Someone Who Is Cutting
Self-harm takes on many forms, including burning, picking at wounds, headbanging, pulling out hair, biting, or any other deliberate action to cause physical pain. However, cutting is the most common form of self-harm. Most people cut on their arms, legs, and stomach, where clothing can easily hide wounds. If you suspect someone in your life is cutting, it is critical to remember that you are dealing with someone who is struggling with significant psychological and emotional pain. The best thing you can do for them is to be supportive and help them find the appropriate level of professional treatment.
Consider these suggestions for helping a loved one if you suspect or know they are cutting:
- Acknowledge their emotions and express sympathy
- Focus on trying to understand the triggers that precede self-harm, not the act itself
- Do not ridicule their actions or dismiss their thoughts and feelings
- Help create a list of people they can call when they feel like cutting
- Identify other activities to engage in when the urge to cut arises
- Be genuinely interested in understanding why they self-harm and how they believe it helps them
Remember that self-harm is not a diagnosis itself but rather a symptom of an underlying mental health disorder. Self-harm is complex, and recovery can be a long process for everyone involved. Some of the reasons people self-harm include avoiding painful memories, breakthrough emotional numbness, gaining a sense of control, and coping with challenging emotions.
Understanding Self-Harm – Possible Reasons
Self-harm is often a response to significant life events and emotional struggles. Here are some common reasons why people may turn to self-harm:
- History of trauma, abuse, or neglect
- Struggling to cope with significant life events
- Feeling a lack of control over their lives
- Using self-harm to regain a sense of control
- Releasing intense emotions, even if they are negative
Self-harm can also be a result of underlying mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and substance abuse issues. These disorders can make it difficult for individuals to cope with distressing thoughts and feelings, leading them to find relief through self-harm.
How to Help Someone Who Self-Harms – Treatment Options
If you or someone you love is struggling with self-harm, it is crucial to seek professional help. A therapist or mental health professional can assess the severity of the behavior and provide appropriate treatment options.
Some common types of therapy used in self-harm treatment include:
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) – This type of therapy helps people identify and change negative thoughts and behaviors that contribute to self-harm. It also teaches coping skills to manage intense emotions.
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) – DBT focuses on teaching skills such as mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation to help individuals cope with intense emotions and reduce self-harming behaviors.
- Trauma-focused therapy – This type of therapy is beneficial for those who have experienced trauma and use self-harm as a way to cope with distressing memories or emotions.
- Medication – In some cases, medication may be prescribed to help manage underlying mental health conditions that contribute to self-harm behaviors.
In addition to therapy, it is also essential to create a support system for individuals struggling with self-harm. This can include family members, friends, and support groups. It is crucial to remember that recovery from self-harm takes time and patience, but with the proper treatment and support, it is possible.
Contact Harmony Hills for Self-Harm Treatment
Harmony Hills offers comprehensive, individualized treatment for self-harm. Our team of clinical professionals will help your loved one uncover and treat the underlying mental health issues that trigger self-harm behaviors and learn healthy coping skills. Contact us at 855.494.0357 to learn more about our self-harm treatment program in Florida.
